Roses are red
Here's something new,
Violets are violet,
Not f*cking blue!

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Two guys walk into a bar,which is stupid because the second guy should have seen the first guy hit it.

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Two guys, a Priest, a Rabbi, a blonde and a brunette, followed bya redneck with a frog walk into a bar,
"The bartender says, "No! No! Stop! This thread is for Short Jokes."

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A man and woman were having safe sex. He was wearing a condom for protection. It didn't work. Her husband shot him dead.

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Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

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Q: How does every ethnic joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.

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Paddy lost a hundred dollars on the Melbourne Cup, a famous Australian horserace.
He also lost another hundred on the television replay.

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"Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

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An out-of-towner was driving through a small town in Montana and passed a restaurant. He wanted to make a U-turn, but saw a police officer just up ahead. He pulls up and asks the officer, "Excuse me, but can you make a u-turn?" The officer looks at the fella and says, "Well hell yeah! I can even make her eyes bug out!"

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Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world?
Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep

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