RE: Random thoughts and jokesHealth nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
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Post #113ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesHere in the UK, if 10 healthy people go into hospital, 11 will come out sick.
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Post #114ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesI do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesI knew a guy who was a master of the English language.
He's the only guy I know who can describe
Pamela Anderson and Dolly Parton without using his hands!
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesI almost married a psychic, but she dumped me before we met.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesMy ex was such a liar. She didn't come home one night;
she said she'd spent the night with her sister.
I knew she was lying, because I spent the night with her sister.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesAt the fabric counter of Heelas department store [John Lewis] in Reading, UK,
the very pretty Rebecca enquired of the male counter staff,
'I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?'
'Only one kiss per metre, 'replied the young man with a rather unpleasant ferret-like smirk.
'That's OK, 'answered Rebecca, with a glint in her eye, 'I'll take eight metres.'
With expectation and with anticipation written all over his face, the staff member quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then in a teasing fashion held it out.
Rebecca snapped up the package, pointed to the old, grizzled and toothless fellow standing beside her, smiled, and said, 'My Grandad will pay the bill.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesDon't look back. You ain't going that way.
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Post #120ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesDon't look back. You ain't going that way.
Some of them on here go both ways at the same time.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesI told a friend that he looked tired.
"I am," he said. "I just finished 50 push-ups."
"Oh really? When did you start doing push-ups?"
"Well, I did the first one in 1988."
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